Highlighting one such incident Ed and Deb says that they have been teaching for a week’s retreat in an old vicarage in the countryside of County Wick low, Ireland. Where they found that, although it was a beautiful place for living, many participants had difficulties in the place they were working. Especially one participant named Helen told them that she had a difficult angry boss, Mary who would walk in everyday and start finding Helen’s fault. She wanted to quit the job but according to her, it is extremely difficult to find a job in her area. 

Instructing, Helen, how to develop greater objectivity toward Mary, Ed and Deb describes that they reversed the roles, as a result by obtaining the boss’ position, Helen could see she was actually being very self-absorbed, as many people are, by presuming it was all about her as a boss. By this she very soon realized that she must have done something wrong as Marry does not seem to like her. She also understood that her boss Mary must have been facing some personal problems and as a result taking her frustrations out on her.

Further, it is quite important for us to think about other people as well, other than our own self; by this, one will surely understand his /her own mistake and develop a feeling of kindness towards others.